
My youngest child turned eight this week and in celebration of this I decided to post a story on Instagram about something that happened on the day of his birth. Yes, yes: I know that on their birthday you’re supposed to do a slideshow of all of their cutest photos and say how proud you are of them etc etc but I have an issue with this. Two issues, in fact. Want full access to all the posts? Consider an upgrade! I can’t image you’ll regret it. Let me tempt you with the options…The first is that he is eight, and doesn’t have a phone or social media, so there is no point sending him any kind of message about how proud I am because he won’t see that message for (if things go well with the “no screens” thing) quite a few more years. By which time he will no doubt be interested in things like virtual reality gaming and training his AI-powered clone to do his homework. He won’t give a flying shit whether I was proud of him when he was eight. My other issue with posting a carousel of photos showing how cute he has been throughout the ages is this:
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