Hi, I’m Nicole! Read my introduction to learn more about me and my distinguished Burmese, Mr. Baby Cat.
I’m writing this in real time, as my husband is currently on his way to take Baby Cat to the vet. I’m hopeful that I’m wrong and he’s right, because if I’m right, we’ll both be feeling like guilty parents.
Baby Cat has periodically peed on the floor throughout his life, sometimes it’s behavioral, sometimes it’s been due to a medical issue, it’s been about 50/50 in the past, so it’s a coin toss when we’re trying to identify the triggers. There have been some environmental changes in the few three weeks in our household: we have a foster dog, Baby Cat had a bout of fleas that were persistent to his medication so he needed to be extra dosed (with veterinary approval!), it’s coming into winter so it is colder than usual, he’s not getting any younger, and, our toddler is becoming more toddler and taking up more of our time (which means less for our fur babies).
So, roughly two weeks ago, when his out-of-box urination became more frequent (roughly every 2nd or 3rd pee), I didn’t think much of it. I just thought, he’s being lazy, he can’t see in the dark as well as he used to, or he’s mad that there’s already a single pee in the litter box and it hasn’t been cleaned out immediately.
But then, we’ve tried to accommodate all of the above – we spent more time coddling him, we’ve put on a night light to help him get to his litter box in the dark, we’re removing the pee immediately after he goes. We’d have a successful day or two, then back at it again. There was no extra urination, no extra smell, or change in color, though, so we had more reason to believe it was behavioral than not.
But, yesterday morning, there was a pee from overnight and one in the morning, just outside the litter box, and my husband expressed he was feeling over it, and I could not blame him. I’ve been there. Thankfully, we seem to balance each other, when one is struggling, the other is calm, and vice versa.
With four animals and a toddler in the house, the amount of bodily functions and fluids we’re dodging can easily become a battle, when it needs to become a dance.
I decided it was time to call our vet and get him seen to. In the past, he has peed on the floor to signify something was wrong. But as he got older, as mentioned before, it has also been behavioral, and there’s nothing like an $80 trip to the vet clinic to be told ‘he’s fine’! My husband is still thinking it’s behavioral, but I need to know.
So, I am hopeful I am wrong, and I am hopeful he is right. Either way, the list of how to deal with the emotions surrounding the frequent floor urination, whether it is behavioral or not, is not only to help you all reading, but to help remind our household how to handle things when they get home.
I’ll add in the update on Baby Cat’s health at the end of this post.
Baby Cat’s favorite corner to pee in…great…
How to Deal With the Emotions Around Pet Messes:
1. Breathe.
It seems so simple, and it is. Close your eyes and take a big deep breath, sometimes up to five. This is the most helpful way to ground yourself and get to the solution calmly and quickly. You want to avoid yelling or punishing your pet (because it often backfires), and you can only guarantee that you won’t do this if you are calm and grounded.
2. Have empathy for your fur baby.
It’s easy to forget in the heat of the moment that your little friend only wants to please. Regardless of whether it’s behavioral or health related, there is something impacting them to behave out of the norm. After breathing it’s easier to find that empathy.
Now may not be the time for you to go give them a cuddle, because you have a mess to clean up, but it is a good time to release your anger instead of taking it out on them.
This isn’t just for them, it’s for you too.
3. Calmly come up with a plan to clean it up.
So, now that you’re calm and feeling empathy for your little one, it’s much easier to recognize ‘it’s just a bit of pee’. Clean it up. If you have a pet, you should have pet cleaners on hand, and I do recommend a plethora of ‘pet towels’ for these situations, ones where no matter the volume of yuck on them, they will never be used for anything other than pet messes.
Dropping a towel down to soak up the mess (floor or carpet), and then use the pet cleaner.
4. Find a silver lining.
I like to be grateful when Baby Cat or any of our other critters make their messes on the floor instead of the carpet. And when it’s on the carpet, I like to think ‘well at least this part of the carpet is getting a deep clean now!’
5. Have a laugh.
The silver lining can often bring about a bit of laughter, but truly, you’re elbows deep in animal excreta, you have two choices. Be miserable, or laugh. You’ve chosen the life with pets and they are wonderful, but with that comes some responsibility. And it’s really only 5-10 minutes max from start to finish.
6. Make a prevention plan.
Now is the time to examine everything, environmental and health-related, and decide whether more training is needed, whether you need to make changes, or whether you need to get professional input.
If it’s the first instance, you’re likely just going to clean up and move on. If it becomes recurring, that’s when further steps need to be taken.
Praise and reward when positive toileting behaviors are exhibited (so you do need to keep an eye out for these moments more often), and see what you can do to make the experience better for your pet.
But also, don’t hesitate to seek outside help and get to a veterinarian. It might be an expensive ‘nothing is wrong’, but it could also be a very inexpensive preventative measure and solution.
7. Give your pet a cuddle.
Hard to stay mad at this squishy face.
Showing love after everything is cleaned up is not going to translate as praise for the behavior, rather, it helps your pet feel safe. As mentioned earlier, punishing your pet could have the opposite effect. It could make them nervous about their toileting or teach them that you are unpredictable, which may lead to more of the problem you are trying to correct.
A good cuddle will remind you and your pet of the love you share and you can move forward together as a team.
8. If you feel guilty, use it to propel your next steps and release yourself from it.
It’s no use to you to harbor guilt but it is useful to take the feelings and help them to shape your actions. For example, if it does end up being a health-related issue, act faster next time.
You love your pet, you will make mistakes, but as long as you’re always trying your best, just like they are, it will all be ok.
Baby Cat’s Vet Visit Update
I just got off the call with my husband, and we’re still at 50/50 – our vet said that it could be behavioral because of the foster dog in the house, but it could also be a UTI (we’re getting a urine test done and won’t have results for a few more days) or could be the fact that the little man has some arthritis in his hind legs and a bit of muscle atrophy, so it could be hard for him to get into his litter box at times. Or, it’s a healthy mix of it all.
So, we’re both right (but I’m more right, of course). We’re both very glad he had the vet visit today, even though we would have preferred to save that money for something else, it’s the price you pay for peace of mind, and clean floors. Plus, it is the care he’s been asking for, and regardless of behavioral or health issue, having our vet, an objective observer, take a look at the problem and help us find the solution. We’re still both feeling a bit guilty for not recognising any of this sooner or figuring it out on our own (and for a few of the angry no’s we delivered after stepping in a puddle of cold pee first thing in the morning when groggily walking into the bathroom).
Our Solution
First, it’s good to mention that the foster pup will be gone in a week, so that will restore some balance to this wild bunch. Baby is super kind to the dog, but is possibly exhibiting his stress and frustration directed solely towards us in his toileting decisions. So – it’s up to us to ensure he feels all the love and snuggles and that his cup is full before we tend to anyone else. We do always feed him first and he is the only one allowed on the couch, but we need to take it a few extra steps so he knows he’s still our number one.
Second, we will be bringing a second litter box out to the fire beside his bed at night, so he doesn’t have to walk far.
The things we do for our animals…litter tray in close proximity to the fire at night.
Third, we will be encouraging him to exercise just a little bit more, like coming out in the yard for walks instead of just stopping at the couch in the sun and falling asleep, to help build up some muscle mass again. We will not overdo it though, since the arthritis is real.
Finally, we will reward him when he does the right thing, so he knows he is a good boy.
And of course, we will keep an eye on things and deal with our own emotions properly if he ends up peeing on the floor again tonight.
